5 Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage While Raising Toddlers
It isn’t until the arrival of my second child that reality hits. I don’t know my husband anymore. We do everything together. But I don’t sit with him and talk, or see how he is doing. What am I doing with my time and where is the time for him? Seeing how I am not present in my own relationship with my spouse has made me change my pattern of life. It is now with more intentional steps and small acts that I show my spouse he is priority in our home. Are you like me and want to make life more intentional and special for your spouse?
Let me be real. It’s not hard. It’s not complicated. But it may take a little more intentional effort and love. This is your “self-care for him, or “marriage-care” for both of you. Don’t forget though that for you to give him love and care you need your own self-care. (link to self-care for yourselves)
Here are 5 ways to prioritize your husband:
- Be intentional when he walks in the door
When he is home for the evening and you are about to eat dinner, look your husband in the eyes. Take your time. Talk to him! Hug him! Be loving and charming. Get your kids involved too. Make him the center of your attention. Have them be excited about him coming home. Family is what you have become together.
- Get your whole family involved
Let’s start with life at home with kids. They will need almost all your attention all the time. That is exhausting. Get them involved though. Start prioritizing with your spouse by spending time together as a family. Have the kids play in front of you while you have a timer set for as little as 10 minutes. It shows your children that life does not revolve around them. They see you are there together for them when they need you but that it is your time. Then talk for a bit and play with them with your spouse. Your relationship is what the foundation of family life is.
- Micro Date your spouse
Most of the time you don’t have time to go on dates. In fact micro dating right at home is quite an intentional decision that helps keep your connection alive. It can be whatever you and your spouse want to do and it again it doesn’t have to be long or tiring. For instance make your favorite drink and sit and chat or eat your favorite snack while enjoying each other’s company.
- Get Cozy and Comfortable
You don’t have to be talking or chatting the whole time. Enjoying the quiet together with each other doing your own things. It is the moments like this that when you are both drained of energy that sitting and reading is all that is needed. While sitting on the couch close together, hold hands or feel the closeness of eachother.
5. Intentional Reset
Once your littles go to bed then, ladies…get your feminine charm on and spend time with your spouse! I don’t mean go and get all prettied up. Be yourself. You are the heart of the home. Get a question game or start flirting with him. Don’t ever forget the reason why you chose your spouse. You may even get those butterflies again.
A Final Thought for the Tired Mama
Don’t feel like you have to go and do all of these right away. In fact these are just ideas. Maybe your spouse wants different things. It will not work the same for everyone. What matters is the effort and love you put into trying. Take the intentional steps and effort towards putting him first. Spend time and show that you are interested and care about him. Friends tell me all the time, dishes, laundry and chores will always be there, the present time will not. I want to live in the moment and enjoy these micro moments that bring us closer together as a family. It may hit you the way it hit me very hard one day how much I really truly love my husband and how much that love grows daily! It’s incredible!
Try it! Let me know what you think. What works for you? What are your favorite ways to prioritize your husband?
FAQS:
Is it selfish for me to put my spouse before my kids?
What if I am the only one trying to be intentional?
We are both so exhausted by bedtime. How do we find the energy?
My toddlers won’t stay in bed! How do I get that ‘Intentional Reset’ time?
How do I explain the ’10-Minute Timer’ to my kids without them melting down?
Does ‘feminine charm’ mean I have to act like a different person?