5 Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage While Raising Toddlers

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It wasn’t until the arrival of my second child that reality hit. I don’t know my husband anymore. We do everything together. But I don’t sit with him and talk, or see how he is doing. What am I doing with my time and where is the time for him?

Seeing how I am not present in my own relationship with my spouse has made me change my pattern of life. It is now with more intentional steps and small acts that I show my spouse he is priority in our home. Are you like me and want to make life more intentional and special for your spouse? 

Let me be real. It’s not hard. It’s not complicated. But it may take a little more intentional effort and love. This is your “self-care for him, or “marriage-care” for both of you. Don’t forget though that for you to give him love and care will require you needing your own self-care.

Here are 5 ways to prioritize your husband:

1. Be intentional when he walks in the door

When he is home for the evening and you are about to eat dinner, look your husband in the eyes. Take your time. Talk to him! Hug him! Be loving and charming. Get your kids involved too. Get them excited about him coming home and when he does, make him the center of your attention.

2. Get your whole family involved

Let’s start with life at home with kids. They will need almost all your attention all the time. That is exhausting. Get them involved though.

Although it may seem difficult at first, sit with your spouse and give him your attention while the kids play in front of you two. Set a timer for as little as 10 minutes. Your children will see that life does not revolve around them, and that you and your spouse value each others attention. They see you are there together for them when they need you but that it is your time. Talk for a bit, catch up on each other’s day, and then you and your spouse together play with your kids.

Your relationship will become the foundation of your family life, and the model for your kids.

3. Micro date your spouse

Most of the time you don’t have time to go on dates. In fact, micro dating right at home is quite an intentional decision that helps keep your connection alive.

It can be whatever you and your spouse want to do and it doesn’t have to be long or tiring. Try one of these ideas and see if it works for you.

4. Get Cozy and Comfortable

You don’t have to be talking or chatting the whole time. Enjoy the quiet time together with each other doing your own things, or get matching loungewear to feel that connection again. It is the moments like this, when you are both drained of energy, that sitting and reading is all that is needed.

While sitting on the couch close together, get a throw blanket, hold hands or just feel the closeness of each other.

5.  Intentional Reset

Once your littles go to bed, then ladies…get your feminine charm on, and spend time with your spouse! I don’t mean go and get all prettied up. Just be yourself. You are the heart of the home. Get a question game or start flirting with him.

Don’t ever forget the reason why you chose your spouse, or even why he chose you. You may even get those butterflies again.

A Final Thought for the Tired Mama 

Don’t feel like you have to go and do all of these right away. In fact, these are just ideas. Maybe your spouse wants different things. It will not work the same for everyone. What matters is the effort and love you put into trying. Take the intentional steps and effort towards putting him first.

Spend time and show that you are interested and care about him. Friends tell me all the time: dishes, laundry and chores will always be there, the present time will not. I want to live in the moment and enjoy these micro moments that bring us closer together as a family.

It may hit you the way it hit me very hard one day how much I really truly love my husband and how much that love grows daily! It’s incredible!

Try it! Let me know what you think. What works for you? What are your favorite ways to prioritize your husband? 

Shop to prioritize your spouse:

FAQS: 

We are both so exhausted by bedtime. How do we find the energy?

Don’t worry about trying to force or use the little energy you may have left after a long day. Focus on quality time, sitting on the couch together and holding hands or asking questions.

My toddlers won’t stay in bed! How do I get that ‘Intentional Reset’ time? 

Give your child visual cues (ok to wake clock) that let them know when they can leave their bedroom. If they come out, walk them back with minimal conversation so they learn the evening is for you two.